Parting Shot: Matches and Marshmallows

“A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.”

— African Proverb

That one landed in the gut the first time I heard it.

It shows up in session when someone describes acting out in ways that hurt—others, themselves—but it’s the only move left to get noticed.

To feel heat. To feel anything.

The need for connection doesn’t vanish when the world fails to meet it. It just gets... creative.

I know this...not just professionally. Let’s just say there’s been time spent at the edge of the village—fist full of matches, lump in the throat, waiting for someone to notice the cold.

The fire doesn’t want destruction. It wants to be witnessed.

Warmth without collapse. Truth without exile.

So yeah, I joke about bringing the matches and marshmallows. Because if the fire isn’t named, it tends to eat us quietly.

This is how warmth gets closer—without burning down the whole damn village.

-—

📍 From the therapy room and the margins of my own story. Part of the Parting Shots series.

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